pretty, blind, pregnant teens

So my kids are 3 and almost 9.  I let them watch TV.  I think I’ve probably covered this here before but, quickly, the reasons involve a) trying to educate them to be critical consumers of media in all forms and b) my own laziness.  No excuses.  Anyway, I am pretty adamant that I watch with them (see reason “a” above), which means I am also a consumer of this stuff.  Some of it is unbelievably horrible (Fanboy and Chum Chum?  What the fuck is that shit?), some of it less so (iCarly is pretty funny for a kids’ show.  Please don’t put me in jail), and some is downright hilarious (honestly, Penguins of Madagascar is laugh out loud funny pretty often).  But the commercials – sweet god, the commercials.  We used to only watch – or only primarily watch – shows without commercials, but as our oldest has grown it’s become more and more likely that there will be ads in the shows he chooses.  Which is not terrible, since we can help the kids pick them apart (see reason “a” again) and basically put our fancy undergraduate degrees to use in deconstructing them.  Sometimes, we use the ‘hegemony.”  But not very often.

What I’m taking a long time in getting at here is that I saw a commercial on TV today that very nearly made my eyes and ears bleed.  It was for Lelli Kelly shoes, which either also include or can be purchased with a toy cell phone that holds scented (I swear) eye shadow.  For, like, 5 year olds.  The hell?  I mean, maybe the horrifying song and psychedelic colors triggered some kind of flashback, but I’m pretty sure I know what I saw.  Way to sexualize our young girls!  Well done!  I will be sure to ask the pregnant teenagers I work with how that’s working out for them.  Oh wait…  Also, scented eye shadow?  I can only imagine this burning through young eyelids and scarring innocent corneas.  But they will be pretty!  Pretty, blind, pregnant teens.  Awesome.

The closest commercial I could find to share with you is the German version, but that should bring the lulz, if nothing else does (but they’ve got lipstick instead of eye shadow).  You’ve been warned.

And now I will go let the Nyquil do it’s job…


~ by other on March 10, 2010.

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